So here it is… first post of our latest blogger takeover – we chose Yomi of Sitting Witty after we stumbled across her personal blog and ended up in stitches after reading every single post on there. The girl has a geniune skill for writing and we love her humorous style – check out her first ever post for us below!
Nineties VS Now: Backstreet Boys V One Direction
Of all the introductory posts, I (for some reason unknown) have chosen the one I am well aware would be the hardest to write. Setting myself the challenge of picking between One Direction and the Backstreet Boys is like asking Stevie J settle choose between Joseline and Mimi…in other words, its just not happening. Don’t get me wrong- I was popping my shoulders harder than anybody else at my primary school disco when ‘Everybody’ came on (I didn’t even censor the ‘Am I sexual’ line, like all the other embarrassed year 1’s did. I was that dedicated). My jelly shoes were more sparkly than any other bitch on the playground and my Tamogotchi stayed fed, son. And as for my Pokemon cards…well, lets just say I stayed stacking. But unfortunately, I simply can’t just let the nineties win outright in this case. Because alas… I am a Directioner. Yes, aged 21, apparently studying law and I fucking love 1D. I’m ‘living whilst I’m young’ at their command. Going ‘crazy crazy crazy when I see the sun’ and whatever else they say in their shitty song lyrics (I can’t remember because I was most likely distracted by Zayn Malik’s eyelashes). I don’t know if its their rhythmic jumping in sync or there fervent love of chinos but I can’t get enough of the lads. So when it becomes a Harry Styles vs Howie Dorough kind of situation, shit could get pretty messy. What will it be? Ill fitting tracksuits and hair gel or baby faces and trouser braces? There can only be one; Let the battle of the boybands commence!
Name: One Direction
Reign: 2010- Now
Greatest Hits: They’ve only released about 4, but ‘What Makes You Beautiful’, ‘Live Whilst We’re Young’, ‘Kiss You’ and ‘One Thing’ are their biggest tunes to date.
Why they rule: We all watched them transform from a slapdash, unsynchronised clan of X Factor runner ups whispering about girls into mics, into a five part group of fitties with sick hair. The 1D lot have well and truly blown, having sold over 14 million singles and 8 million albums, and going on to win two BRIT Awards and three MTV Video Music Awards without a single dance routine. Essentially five better looking, less annoying Justin Biebers, who couldn’t love the boys? And there is one for everyone, whatever your taste! The blonde and Irish sweet boy Niall, cheeky cougar-chasing Harry, brooding and mysterious really really really hot Zayn and…Louis and Liam are essentially the same but who cares! They are all gorgeous! And wear bow ties! They were even proclaimed 2012’s “Top New Artist” by Billboard, and The Huffington Post declared 2012 the Year of One Direction. And best thing about the boys? The way they totally undermine there puppy dog, cutesy image by banging woman twice their age (Naughty Harry!), shacking up with single mums (Naughty Zayn!) or being linked to any tit owning, non-penis-haver in the public eye (Naughty naughty Harry!).They are down to earth, make catchy songs and all seem to genuinely get along.
Plus, Harry looks like Mick Jagger.
Name: Backstreet Boys
Reign: 1993- Now (20 years of denim and ballads- Pretty impressive.)
Greatest Hits: ‘As Long As You Love M’e, ‘Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely’, ‘I Want It That Way’ and of course’ Larger Than Life’
Why they rule: Pop royalty, the Backstreet boys are essentially the promordial soup of boybands. They made school discos worth attending and making up dance routines in the playground all the more worthwhile. Plus, they had that one member who literally never took off his sunglasses, which was fun. With over 130 million records worldwide, they are the best selling boyband of all bloody time and one of the world’s best-selling music artists (stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Louis Tomlinson). Not only that, their success literally birthed every other post nineties boyband. So without them, you can forget 5ive, Boyzone, Blue, Westlife, Take That, The Jonas Brothers (okay, perhaps we could have done without The Jo Bros, but you get my drift). Without the Backstreet Boys, there would have definitely have been no N*Sync, so we could most likely kiss goodbye the the rise of Justin Timberlake, which would leave us without ‘Señorita’ and ‘Dance With Me’ and that ‘Friends With Benefits’ film (so maybe we could have done without that, too). Would 1 Direction even exist without the grandfathers of choreographed dance numbers in the rain? I think not.
Verdict: Although Zayn Malik can serenade me by a bonfire any day, the Backstreet Boys have this one in the bag. I mean come on- They dressed up as mummies and werewolves in a music video! And robots that one time! They just don’t make ’em like they used to.
Let Yomi know what you thought of her first post for us by tweeting her at @sittingwitty